I have expressed before that I dated a man that was completely not right for me yet I expereinced sadness. Today I was looking through older pictuers over the years putting together a collage of my dog when I started to feel a pang of sadness…which then led me to the man I dated, first after knowing I’m getting divorced…the ‘wrong guy’. and it came with clarity where the sadness came from. I realized that it wasn’t the person that I am sad about. It’s the love and affection that I have not felt in a very, very long time. Until I learn how to become full of true love for myself, I will always face a relationship from a potentially needy standpoint instead of full of love. So my next step is to learn how to fill the love and affection ‘gap’ myself so that I am so full of love that I can do the following:
Face the world from love
Consider other people’s experience and approach them from a place of love
Be so full of love that I can give as much love as possible in this life time to others, every opportunity
When I’m dating potential new men, to really evaluate whether or not it is a good relationship instead of latching onto affection but consider things slowly and see where it leads…no fear, no neediness..just the experience and fully enjoy getting to know the other person.

I look to fill this ‘gap’ through meditation and I heard somewhere that giving yourself a hug is often very helpful so what the heck, going to do that 8 times per day. I heard from either Rhonda Byrne or “Abraham” that 8 hugs are needed a day to maintain and 12 to grow so maybe up that to 10 self hugs a day! And I will continue to journal both via this blog and in my new hand written journal to accelerate my learning and experience.

thank you if anyone ever reads this and I wish you love and joy, always.